spin around this garden of hope ;
Tuesday, October 31, 2006 @ 6:07 AM
state of confusion. i don't even understand myself. i don't know what i actually want. both ways just don't appeal to me. i don't understand my surroundings and what the hell is going on. to do it, i have to spend alot of time cos i believe that what is the point of doing it when you don't want to win in the end. maybe just let me have the oppotunity to try out for the finals. afterall there is nothing that i cannot afford to lose. just spend the bloody money and support me will you? you want me to do well and you are not willing to go all out for it. what the bloody hell is this stupid logic? but looking on the other side of the situation, will it be better if i just don't try, save your bloody money and my effort after all without the right combinations, i will not win also. i rather i spend the time learning a more useful thing rather than on totally nothing. see, i told you i am at a state of confusion. i'm weird. i guess. but who cares. i will have a battle of thoughts tonight and may the best thought win.
band today was crazy. sia as mad mooded( is there even a word like that?) and we played worst then normal. but at least we got to see a nice show today. haha, this really blur bus uncle drove his bus on the track and susan lim was screaming at him. poor track, maybe as i said, our school fees for next year might increase. anyway, trombones had the best view of the whole show!!! whatever. found out that i have to go to school on friday. how bad can it be. every bad thing just happens on this week. WHY!!!!!!!!
outing with nat, meichi, ivy, emily and angela tomorrow! hope it will be fun. cross fingers...
:(